Cigarettes and Awkward Moments
by Berries-R-Blue
Summary: Lumpy's sister has replaced him as the cook onboard the Venture. Not only is her cooking good, but the Captain doesn't seem to mind having her around either. Only one night, they have an awkward meeting with Jimmy.


She placed the cigarette between her chapped, bloodied lips. It'd been days out in the hot sun, and Jimmy'd dropped her chap stick in the ocean a few days back after drawing with it on the galley's wall. It'd been a bitch to clean off too. She'd made sure he'd gotten a good flogging for that, and was sent to 'swab the deck'.

Lighting the match off the stove to her right, just as her brother had taught her as a child, she held it to the end of her cig before blowing it out and throwing it into the burner. Inhaling, she leaned her front against the counter, which for once in it's pitiful life, was clear of all dishes and wiped down as well as it would allow. Exhaling, she closed her eyes, and took another drag off the swiped cigarette.

"That's mine," a voice sounded behind her, making her open her eyes, and crack a grin. She wasn't easily startled, and he was hardly the quietest person, with his big captain's boats.

"I found it, and finders keepers," she rested her head in her hands, letting the cig just dangle from her lips, sticking slightly to the blood.

"Well, since you insist on that, Miss Mercy, I suppose the little necklace I found sitting on my bedside table is mine now," she didn't move, even when she heard him jingling his dog tags, and something other then that, she just inhaled and exhaled.

"It was meant to be yours, I gave it to you."

"You know, your brother would be coming to murder me," he said suddenly, placing his large hands on her hips, letting his thumbs rest on the belt holding up her borrowed pants," -if he knew what I was thinking right now."

"Really? So I suppose he's turning over in his grave right now?" she joked, knowing fully well her brother was already digested and gone, his only remains perhaps a bone or two stuck in worm waste.

"Well, Lumpy was always very protective of you, Merc," he took one hand off her hips, and reached around to tug the cigarette out from between her fingers. Lifting it to his lips, he took a long drag, before taking it away from his lips and exhaling. "It's bloody, Merc," he sounded disapproving.

The women shrugged, "Jimmy used the rest of my chap stick writing Englehorn plus Mercy in a big heart on the wall," she took the cig back from his fingers, and flipped around to face him.

Englehorn laughed quietly, the low sound reverberating through his chest and sending pleasantly dirty thoughts through Mercy's mind, "Well, we'll be docking on a few days, so you won't have to suffer long, Mercy," she nodded, taking another drag, and exhaling through her pursed lips, right into his face. He inhaled, smirking slightly.

Leaning over her, he towered over her as it was, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. She sighed, inhaling one last drag. Tossing the cigarette butt into the burner, she shifted so her back was at the corner of the counter.

Looking up at him, she smirked. Reaching into a pocket in his coat, god she loved that coat, she pulled out a pack of cigs. He mock frowned, but let her take another one and light it with the box of matches on her left. Inhaling again, she made to exhale in his face again, but when she moved, she found his lips attacking her neck. She shrugged letting the smoke out through her nose.

Letting her head flop back, she felt his nose graze her neck as he went for her soft spot. Giggling, she felt him hit the nerve, and send tingles up into her ear. Glancing down she found his hands moving up to the collar of her shirt, unbuttoning the first couple buttons, and shifting the shirt so he could get to her shoulder. Finding a previous spot he'd marked, he went and sucked on it, leading her to moan softly.

Taking another drag, she let her head rest on the counter, making her chest and shoulders arch uncomfortably. Englehorn took notice, and by her belt, he hoisted her so her back was flat on the counter, her feet off the floor, and her hips arched right into his. She kept smoking as if nothing happened, letting him make his way slowly across her shoulder, over her collar bone, and onto the next, letting his weight press into her pleasantly.

"Gimme that," he whispered huskily, looking up at her from his position at her neck, and staring at the cigarette dangling from her lips. Smirking she shook her head.

"Not yet, you're gonna have to work for it toots," she snagged the hat off his head and placed it on her own. Inhaling she held her breath, and before she was ready to let it out, he'd started in on her soft spot again, making her let out a breathy, smokey moan.

Closing her eyes, she felt his weight shift on top of her only when he made to undo more of her shirt buttons. She shivered slightly as the shirt slipped off her shoulders, and was held on only by the counter and the one button left buttoned down by her waist.

He again took notice of her discomfort and quickly worked his hands up and down her arms, letting the friction warm her up. Smiling, she thanked him with one buck of her hips. He groaned slightly, and began his work on her torso now.

He let his tongue trail over her collar bone again before he dove for her breasts. He'd once told her she had the best boobs he'd ever seen, and she'd laughed at him, joking that was because they were the biggest he'd ever seen on someone so small. He'd cracked a grin.

Now as he verified that they were the best boobs ever, she moaned, forgetting about the cigarette momentarily, and just enjoying the moment, letting her hips buck every once and while to thank him.

When he abandoned his work, she groaned angrily, and tugged gently on his hair. He smirked, and pressed himself into her even more, his hip bones pressing in her pelvis, and his body almost laid right across hers. She smiled, and brought the cig to his lips. He took a short drag and blow it out through his nose, followed by a much longer one as he held his breath before exhaling.

"More?" she mocked begging meekly. Flutting her eyes, she watched him laugh at her futile attempt at being like a regular woman, purring at the rumbling flowing from him, into her chest.

"Merc, you should just stick to cooking for a of bunch smelly, vulgar man on a equally dirty and smelly tramp steamer," he smiled down at her.

"There goes my acting career," she sniffed before looking at him again, a hungry glint in her eyes. "But, you knew, smelly, dirty men are okay when they're german."

"Really? Pry my I ask if it's the accent or the abilities?" he trailed kisses along her jaw.

"Oh, it's the abilities, the accent is just an added bonus," she smirked before gasping as he bite her neck gently. His hands were making quick work of her belt, and soon only her hips pressed into the counter kept her pants on.

"You know, I'm half undressed already, and you've only lost your hat," she smirked slightly as he glanced at the hat on her head.

"Didn't even notice you took it," he reached up to take it, but she stopped him with her hand.

"No, mine," she whispered, taking his hand and placing it on her waist. Letting go of his hand, she slowly trailed her hand over the cloth of his shirt, massaging the areas she paused on, and finally making it to the collar of his shirt. Unbuttoning his shirt, she gently tugged at it, frowning when he didn't let it come off his arms.

"Maybe we should move this somewhere more private?" he suggested, wrapping his arm around her, and lifting her to straddle his hips and sit on the counter.

"Everyone on this ship knows not to come into the galley so late at night," she shot back, trailing on finger over the stubble on his jaw, and smirking "Plus, more surface area."

"Not everyone," he reminded her, remembering the embarrassing encounter with the first mate, Eddy, a few night's back. She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest in mock anger.

"But I like the galley," she whined, running a finger down his nose.

"Yes, but....."

"Merc? Mercy, you in there?" both figures froze as Jimmy's voice floated down the hall and into the open door. Neither one moved as Jimmy's callings faded as he turned down another hall. Engelhorn looked at her pointedly.

"Fine you win. My bedroom or yours?"

"Mine, yours is next to Jimmy's," he clutched her form to his chest, letting her legs curling around his hips, and he walked them to his cabin, nodding to Jimmy as they passed the astounded boy in the halls. Mercy smiled cheekily and waved, glad her front was pressed up against Englehorn.

"Hey, Jim," she greeted happily as they turned the corner, Jimmy leaving their line of vision.

"Heh, awkward....," Mercy laughed.

"Yes, poor boy."

"He'll get over it."

"I don't know. Hayes never gave him the birds and the bees lecture."

"How terrible. I guess we'll just have to do it tomorrow, poor boy's in for a real scare," Englehorn groaned as she laughed.

"Anybody getting the birds and the bees from you is in for a scare, Merc," he teased letting go of her for a second to open the door handle.

"At lease I won't use a gun and my fingers to explain it," she teased back, smiling as he dumped her on the bed.  
"So it's settled. We need a gun, someone's fingers, and your great talent for awkward situations to get the point across."

"You got it," she smirked, thinking about how awkward it was going to be on the bridge the next day. "Now, where were we?"

She never got a verbal answer.

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"Jimmy! Come up here to grab these dirty dishes would you?" Mercy yelled as she looked back at Englehorn. His blue eyes were sparkling as he shot a glance at the pistol on the table, then looked at her. Smirking at each other, they spotted Jimmy's hat, then head, then body, come up the stairs. Grabbing his arm, Mercy dragged him into the room.

"Now, Jim, there's something you need to know. It's about the birds and the bees, and this marvelous thing called sex."


End file.
